A Man Man Concert Review
Rumours of the possibility of a bar brawl involving me are greatly exaggerated*. Sure, I was swishing saliva for the next encounter. And, yes, my fists were pressed for combat. But that’s about as far as it gets.
A month ago, when Sealed With a Kiss Productions started posting up bills for the Man Man concert, Graeme had just informed me that he was planning on once again dropping the Bloc Party ball of paying me back for promising to take me to their sold out show**. I thought, ‘these guys would make for good live entertainment,’ and pressed for a “trade” of sorts. Graeme, down with that, finally got around to picking up tickets on Saturday.
Between my initial expression of wanting to go to Man Man, and actually getting to Man Man, I dropped my BCID card outside of the Shopper’s Drug Mart on Granville. I don’t go to bars or many concerts or clubs, but for some reason, everyone else has dragged me out for birthdays or concerts since I lost my ID. I’m old, but not quite haggard looking enough to pass for over 18, apparently, and only government issued photo ID is the only way to prove my age. My first hurdle at Richard’s was to get in using only three pieces of government issued ID (no photos), and a student ID with a photo—the names are all exact. Dramatic pauses involving what my night will look like are likely to drive me crazy—worse still is that it’ll be close to two months before it is ratified. Short story short, I eventually got in.
After some shuffling of locations, and a mediocre and boring opening set, Grae, Scott and myself settled up in front of the stage (on my left hand side). One of the first signs of stupidity was the girl (literally), to my left applying the reddest of rouges on her mouth. In front of the stage. With her compact mirror. In between sets. I actually proclaimed to my concert companions ‘what the fuck?!” Scott said that girls smelled nice, and that ended the dispute over whether or not her behavior was rational or called for. This girl is going to need a name, so it is probably best if I give her one now. Tiffani (with an “i”) will cause me grief tonight. She’ll be drinking red wine from the bar, which you know is going to be plonk. Only the finest plonk is served at bars. It is only when I see her vat of black piss that I realized her need to cosmetically enhance herself ‘omg! right now!’: She has to put lipstick marks on her wine glass to distinguish it from everyone else’s red wine glasses at Richard’s. The vinegar scent is still fresh in my nostrils as that would be the scent of Man Man’s concert for me this night.
Aside from smelling bad, and kind of looking bad, she was also representative of “what’s wrong with the world today”. An exaggeration, perhaps, but I’ll let you be the judge.
Enter: Man Man.
Within the first song***, she had touched my head from behind three times to take pictures on her $150 digital camera from the Superstore. Twice were full on collisions, the third was merely the brushing on the hair that creates that tingle in your head that is not comfortable. She apologizes for one clocking and the brushing. The brushing will continue throughout the next song, until I finally decide “I can’t spend a whole concert twitching because someone has to have 300 pictures of the same set, angle, singers, etc.” and I pivot on my left heel and face her directly and ask her nicely to stop touching my head. She pretends to not see me, and I turn around knowing I had made my point very clear.
She will now use her time at Man Man to talk loudly about how mean I am. How much of a bitch I am for not wanting my head to be used as a tripod. I am a horrible, horrible person. It was so awesome when her yelling actually overcame the quieter parts of some songs. I wish I was more like her.
Four songs and countless glasses of grape vomit later, Tiffani’s still insisting that my head is fun to touch and my annoyance with her is unfounded. I keep turning my head slightly to express “stop touching my head”, until finally she reaches over me entirely to take what was inevitably her bestest shot ever! And so, tired of her antics, I decide, ‘fuck, I can block her lens and ruin any chance she has at getting any further shots; ruin my night, I’ll ruin yours.’ Sure enough, not half a song later she’s back on my head, and my hands go up to block the lens. Irritated and drunk, she screams, and shift her camera to my right. I block it again. She has a hissy fit, and I turn around to address her. Her eyelids are shifting closed now, as the effects of alcoholic’s vitamin C are weighing in heavily on her. Her babbles involved “I hope I make you feel good just by being here” and other promises her dirty old uncle would whisper to her. Her good friend, had the mind to take the camera away from her and aim it at me. At first, I was like “why are you taking a picture of me?” and then I realized after the fact that I was mad enough to have my fists clenched and likely raised. I began screaming about how I wasn’t infringing on her ability to enjoy her night, why should she feel she has the right to do it to me and other such logic based arguments that are so hard to resist when you’re drunk. Graeme turned me away before the flash went off, and her friend moved Tiffani closer to centre stage. By this point I was seething and began to build up spit for any repeat encounter she may have wanted.
The music was awesome and I got two very awesome buttons for my shoulder bag.
*if only to the disappointment of myself.
** that he still went to. I hold grudges about promises, people.
*** holy crap, they play fast.
Monday, April 02, 2007
Friday, March 30, 2007
As if Corinne Didn't Have Enough Reason to Hate Rap
I present to you (in linkage form, because embedding youtube videos is so lame) MC Karl Rove.
"He can't be beat, he's so white from his head to his feet."
Truer words have never been spoken. You can't keep a good cracka down.
Via, the always fun poplicks.
"He can't be beat, he's so white from his head to his feet."
Truer words have never been spoken. You can't keep a good cracka down.
Via, the always fun poplicks.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
20 cups of select fluids a day will make you live forever.
You Are Also What You Drink: NYTimes Article (Subscription Required)
A run down of several studies based on beverage consumptions and their health effects.
First of all, if you're going to bitch about having to sign up with NY Times online, you're silly. I've been a member since 1999 (8 years) and have had zero problem with spam (unlike the Chicago Tribune membership, which thinks I should attend colleges in Illinois). Secondly, there are ways around registering, such as using a shared log-in or if the article is archived/retained elsewhere. But seriously, sign up and keep reading. I only wish I had $1,000 to spend on the annual paper subscription. MADNESS.
FIVE CUPS A DAY is key to your health.
According to the article, "Mice prone to an Alzheimer’s-like disease were protected by drinking water spiked with caffeine equivalent to what people get from five cups of coffee a day." It also mentions a human study that suggested that memory deficiencies can also be prevented with three cups. I can only hope that they mean the literal measurement of cup.
And if five cups to keep you from going senile isn't enough fluid, get five more cups of black tea to keep your arteries open! Bone density, kidneys and teeth are also eligible for benefits with black tea.
Hold on before you start reaching for you 5 cups of red wine, though. Red wine is no better than beer, vodka or rubbing alcohol when it comes to having perceived health benefits. Daily, one serving for women, two servings for men (how predictable that men get all the fun and luxuries!) have a whole grocery list of benefits (unless you're drinking for two, which at that point, you're cut off completely. bitches) regardless of what the original ingredient was before distillation. But those are all nulified if you're, surprise, a heavy drinker. Oh, moderation, what can't you be applied to?
Other beverages covered in the original article include sugar drinks, water and milk if you're curious how they all rank on the list of "you ought to be drinking to save your life".
Conclusion: Water is better than soda and kids are getting obese and gross because this lesson is lost on American consumers.
A run down of several studies based on beverage consumptions and their health effects.
First of all, if you're going to bitch about having to sign up with NY Times online, you're silly. I've been a member since 1999 (8 years) and have had zero problem with spam (unlike the Chicago Tribune membership, which thinks I should attend colleges in Illinois). Secondly, there are ways around registering, such as using a shared log-in or if the article is archived/retained elsewhere. But seriously, sign up and keep reading. I only wish I had $1,000 to spend on the annual paper subscription. MADNESS.
FIVE CUPS A DAY is key to your health.
According to the article, "Mice prone to an Alzheimer’s-like disease were protected by drinking water spiked with caffeine equivalent to what people get from five cups of coffee a day." It also mentions a human study that suggested that memory deficiencies can also be prevented with three cups. I can only hope that they mean the literal measurement of cup.
And if five cups to keep you from going senile isn't enough fluid, get five more cups of black tea to keep your arteries open! Bone density, kidneys and teeth are also eligible for benefits with black tea.
Hold on before you start reaching for you 5 cups of red wine, though. Red wine is no better than beer, vodka or rubbing alcohol when it comes to having perceived health benefits. Daily, one serving for women, two servings for men (how predictable that men get all the fun and luxuries!) have a whole grocery list of benefits (unless you're drinking for two, which at that point, you're cut off completely. bitches) regardless of what the original ingredient was before distillation. But those are all nulified if you're, surprise, a heavy drinker. Oh, moderation, what can't you be applied to?
Other beverages covered in the original article include sugar drinks, water and milk if you're curious how they all rank on the list of "you ought to be drinking to save your life".
Conclusion: Water is better than soda and kids are getting obese and gross because this lesson is lost on American consumers.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
I Am a Writer; A Writer of Fictions
Yesterday, I started writing a letter of resignation. I included all the flowery terms of gratitude, of professions of adoration for my peers, and expressions of future plans.
I had not planned on completing the letter. But today, I wrote the final two paragraphs and sent it off to the recepient; who, in turn, sent it to her mother. Her mother gave me glowing reviews and thus completed another adventure of "Corinne writes your employment documents for you".
It was in this moment, I reflected on all the times I have done such things (résumé advice, letter of intent/resignation writing, editing, etc.). It is high time I make use of some of my skills and apply for a proper business number and begin legitmizing my skills. It'll likely operate at a loss, as there are tons of non-profit organizations that help you polish up your résumé, but I'd like to have on MY résumé that I owned a business.
I had not planned on completing the letter. But today, I wrote the final two paragraphs and sent it off to the recepient; who, in turn, sent it to her mother. Her mother gave me glowing reviews and thus completed another adventure of "Corinne writes your employment documents for you".
It was in this moment, I reflected on all the times I have done such things (résumé advice, letter of intent/resignation writing, editing, etc.). It is high time I make use of some of my skills and apply for a proper business number and begin legitmizing my skills. It'll likely operate at a loss, as there are tons of non-profit organizations that help you polish up your résumé, but I'd like to have on MY résumé that I owned a business.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Digital Crack
My co-worker was introduced to the Wii-citement that I exuded in the later half of last November, and begged for one for Christmas. I think I have Nintendo-Luck (and only Nintendo-Luck), for everyone who has wished for a Wii upon hearing my glee has obtained one. Also, I rock at tipiing people off as to where to get.find these babies.
The Wii is backwards compatible, and she has now received/playing Animal Crossing (the original). All at once, the original excitement of the game came back to me: the surprises of 15,000 Bell fish, not knowing what a goldon shovel was, Sports Week! She told me about her boyfriend's desire to destroy her game because of how little she's seen daylight in playing AC.
It brought me back to... yesterday. I'll admit Yorkelet an Yorke have not had a whole lot of visitations from me (Yorke will get some action when I lend it out to the co-worker) for at least a month, but Puzzle Quest... Oh, Puzzle Quest.
I really don't know what to say that hasn't been said: if you like RPGs and you're hooked on PopCap, this game is digital crack. Puzzle Quest follows Trioncube in puzzle games that make my eyes go crossed for hours on end, but Puzzle Quest has at least three or four different styles of play (one is an solvable puzzle, one is combative puzzle, another is strategy, etc.) with the same pieces! Trioncube, while fun, had minimal things to unlock (50 sound effect, 10 backgrounds). Puzzle Quest is pure unlocking.
So, what's your addiction?
The Wii is backwards compatible, and she has now received/playing Animal Crossing (the original). All at once, the original excitement of the game came back to me: the surprises of 15,000 Bell fish, not knowing what a goldon shovel was, Sports Week! She told me about her boyfriend's desire to destroy her game because of how little she's seen daylight in playing AC.
It brought me back to... yesterday. I'll admit Yorkelet an Yorke have not had a whole lot of visitations from me (Yorke will get some action when I lend it out to the co-worker) for at least a month, but Puzzle Quest... Oh, Puzzle Quest.
I really don't know what to say that hasn't been said: if you like RPGs and you're hooked on PopCap, this game is digital crack. Puzzle Quest follows Trioncube in puzzle games that make my eyes go crossed for hours on end, but Puzzle Quest has at least three or four different styles of play (one is an solvable puzzle, one is combative puzzle, another is strategy, etc.) with the same pieces! Trioncube, while fun, had minimal things to unlock (50 sound effect, 10 backgrounds). Puzzle Quest is pure unlocking.
So, what's your addiction?
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Why Old People in Business Should Be Considered Obsolete
A question of whether or not consoles are obsolete.
I will agree that PCs are becoming cheaper and more likely to be in the home, but to have a graphically powerful computer that is capable of playing to top of the line games (or even anything new), you will constantly be upgrading the hardware. Considering the life span of a console (5-10 years), without any significant upgrades (microphones, dance pads and internet connectivity aside), programmers are given a set of stats they are to work with for an allotment of time. PC gaming, while allowing for independent programmers with low budget and even lower graphic resolutions to produce (which is starting to happen to console gaming as well), has a near-endless limit. Which, as awesome as infinity is, it's hard for a casual gamer (as the author of the above article mentions), to just say "I really want to play that new PC game" without having knowledge of their video card, RAM, O/S or hard disc space remaining. I think this kind of acknowledgement is important. Yes, our culture is geekier and more tech savvy, but ask the majority of those 35 to 55 year old women casual gamers what their processor speed is and they're likely to hit you with their purses.
I am not saying the casual gamer is incapable of knowing what their computer does while they are asleep (although this is also true), I am suggesting that these casual gamers are less likely to invest the large amounts (still) of capital required into casual gaming (computer + every damn upgrade when things aren't to the specs of a required game). If it comes preloaded on their Palm, BlackBerry or PopCap is emailed to them, they'll probably enjoy it and may seek out other online games. Ask them to pay $20, and some will. MacMommies will probably be livid that you need a PC, and PCGrannies will be upset that their grandson's old (and I mean old) computer doesn't have enough "sheeps or goats or rams" on her email box.
And here is where the console will thrive: no upgrades, no tech talk, plug it in (or sometimes, throw in a few batteries), put in cartridge, play.
Rather than software commanding the hardware market, consoles have established hardware that the software must conform to. If we look at Nintendo alone's journey into the software demanding hardware upgrades, we'll see the roadside littered with Super Nintendo's mouse & SuperScope, the 8-Bit's Power Glove, GameCube's microphone, GameBoy Advance's E-Card Reader and even the original light gun. But if we look at the DS & the Wii, we find two "gimmicky" ideas requiring software to adhere to the demands of the hardware; and two very large successes in casual gaming.
I won't pretend my readership knows me, so I will tell you now, I have never turned anyone a gamer by using a PC or Mac. I'm sure I could set up a casual gamer, but I sure as hell do not want to deal with the call about why World of Warcraft won't install.
----------------------------------
This rant comes courtesy of my father who, when having difficulties with his computer (likely because it's heavily fragmented and he would've installed Bonzi Buddy if it were still around), decided that it was time to buy and install Windows Vista in the opening weeks. The only reason my father even has a computer was because he wanted a camcorder that he could edit home movies on my mother's Mac. He bought one that was only compatible with a PC (although the salesman said otherwise). It was a Sony camcorder, so his solution was to buy a Sony Vaio. I hate these people, but love my father. A real dichotomy here. The amount of tech crap he's bought and installed (thank god he stopped buying Sony only products and has moved onto the Kodak line of thinking--diversity is good) reminds me of a Threadless shirt...
Back to the Windows Vista saga, his video card won't support Vista. His motherboard won't support a newer video card, and his solution? Buy a new computer.
Ask him about his Wii and he'll tell you it's never given him any troubles. Which is good for a toy.
I will agree that PCs are becoming cheaper and more likely to be in the home, but to have a graphically powerful computer that is capable of playing to top of the line games (or even anything new), you will constantly be upgrading the hardware. Considering the life span of a console (5-10 years), without any significant upgrades (microphones, dance pads and internet connectivity aside), programmers are given a set of stats they are to work with for an allotment of time. PC gaming, while allowing for independent programmers with low budget and even lower graphic resolutions to produce (which is starting to happen to console gaming as well), has a near-endless limit. Which, as awesome as infinity is, it's hard for a casual gamer (as the author of the above article mentions), to just say "I really want to play that new PC game" without having knowledge of their video card, RAM, O/S or hard disc space remaining. I think this kind of acknowledgement is important. Yes, our culture is geekier and more tech savvy, but ask the majority of those 35 to 55 year old women casual gamers what their processor speed is and they're likely to hit you with their purses.
I am not saying the casual gamer is incapable of knowing what their computer does while they are asleep (although this is also true), I am suggesting that these casual gamers are less likely to invest the large amounts (still) of capital required into casual gaming (computer + every damn upgrade when things aren't to the specs of a required game). If it comes preloaded on their Palm, BlackBerry or PopCap is emailed to them, they'll probably enjoy it and may seek out other online games. Ask them to pay $20, and some will. MacMommies will probably be livid that you need a PC, and PCGrannies will be upset that their grandson's old (and I mean old) computer doesn't have enough "sheeps or goats or rams" on her email box.
And here is where the console will thrive: no upgrades, no tech talk, plug it in (or sometimes, throw in a few batteries), put in cartridge, play.
Rather than software commanding the hardware market, consoles have established hardware that the software must conform to. If we look at Nintendo alone's journey into the software demanding hardware upgrades, we'll see the roadside littered with Super Nintendo's mouse & SuperScope, the 8-Bit's Power Glove, GameCube's microphone, GameBoy Advance's E-Card Reader and even the original light gun. But if we look at the DS & the Wii, we find two "gimmicky" ideas requiring software to adhere to the demands of the hardware; and two very large successes in casual gaming.
I won't pretend my readership knows me, so I will tell you now, I have never turned anyone a gamer by using a PC or Mac. I'm sure I could set up a casual gamer, but I sure as hell do not want to deal with the call about why World of Warcraft won't install.
----------------------------------
This rant comes courtesy of my father who, when having difficulties with his computer (likely because it's heavily fragmented and he would've installed Bonzi Buddy if it were still around), decided that it was time to buy and install Windows Vista in the opening weeks. The only reason my father even has a computer was because he wanted a camcorder that he could edit home movies on my mother's Mac. He bought one that was only compatible with a PC (although the salesman said otherwise). It was a Sony camcorder, so his solution was to buy a Sony Vaio. I hate these people, but love my father. A real dichotomy here. The amount of tech crap he's bought and installed (thank god he stopped buying Sony only products and has moved onto the Kodak line of thinking--diversity is good) reminds me of a Threadless shirt...
Back to the Windows Vista saga, his video card won't support Vista. His motherboard won't support a newer video card, and his solution? Buy a new computer.
Ask him about his Wii and he'll tell you it's never given him any troubles. Which is good for a toy.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
My foray into The End
After spending just over an hour listening to the dulling hum of CBC Radio Two (which was markedly more vivid than CBC Radio One), I decided it was time to listen to something more upbeat. My office chum suggested The Beat, and seeing as how I had the entire world of internet & radio in front of me, I thought better of it. Besides, pint-size was off to do her afternoon run in 15 minutes.
Having not listened to a radio station of my choosing in close to a decade, nostalgia beckoned me to the radio dial’s logical conclusion: 107.7 The End.
First up, AOL Word Search, or its modern equivalent: Google! In a moment of judgement relapse or just plain laziness, only numbers and decimal made its way to the search bar. To my fortune, Seattle’s 107.7 was the top search item and I didn’t have to scroll at all. This is where the ease of internet radio and 107.7 end.
The website is black and red with white font all over; and, like a bad joke, it’s ugly. After deep searching for any information about listening online through the various sidebars, I returned to the front page mess. And finally a link was found! Hooray! So click, wait, wait… and… “please register to listen to streaming audio”. For a moment I consider the possibility of not listening to any music ever again, before going through the painless process that doesn’t even involve email verification!
Some more clicking and waiting, and finally, it arrives—with a video ad to greet me. And then:
As if the cosmos aligned to let me know my entertainment had arrived: Elvis Costello is in the midst of his rendition of Radio, Radio.
In the past 90 minutes, they have played two Violent Femmes songs (one was a cover by Gnarls Barkley), Weezer, Nine Inch Nails and Heart Shaped Box.I wonder how long it will take them to be called a “classic alternative” station…
Having not listened to a radio station of my choosing in close to a decade, nostalgia beckoned me to the radio dial’s logical conclusion: 107.7 The End.
First up, AOL Word Search, or its modern equivalent: Google! In a moment of judgement relapse or just plain laziness, only numbers and decimal made its way to the search bar. To my fortune, Seattle’s 107.7 was the top search item and I didn’t have to scroll at all. This is where the ease of internet radio and 107.7 end.
The website is black and red with white font all over; and, like a bad joke, it’s ugly. After deep searching for any information about listening online through the various sidebars, I returned to the front page mess. And finally a link was found! Hooray! So click, wait, wait… and… “please register to listen to streaming audio”. For a moment I consider the possibility of not listening to any music ever again, before going through the painless process that doesn’t even involve email verification!
Some more clicking and waiting, and finally, it arrives—with a video ad to greet me. And then:
As if the cosmos aligned to let me know my entertainment had arrived: Elvis Costello is in the midst of his rendition of Radio, Radio.
In the past 90 minutes, they have played two Violent Femmes songs (one was a cover by Gnarls Barkley), Weezer, Nine Inch Nails and Heart Shaped Box.I wonder how long it will take them to be called a “classic alternative” station…
The Glory that is Prince
Wow. Just Wow.
It's been awhile but Prince's performance at the superbowl seems to have touched a nerve in the american heartland. (See said performance here and here.)
As this blogpost on Poplicks shows, using the official FCC complaints (from the smoking gun) we can definetly see that prince has created a horrible mess.
Apparently he turns males with potential to be QBs into HIV infected Queers. He also inspired impotency from jealousy derived from the implied size of his manhood.
More reasons to love the jolly old JoHo.
It's been awhile but Prince's performance at the superbowl seems to have touched a nerve in the american heartland. (See said performance here and here.)
As this blogpost on Poplicks shows, using the official FCC complaints (from the smoking gun) we can definetly see that prince has created a horrible mess.
Apparently he turns males with potential to be QBs into HIV infected Queers. He also inspired impotency from jealousy derived from the implied size of his manhood.
More reasons to love the jolly old JoHo.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Seven Months Later...
So, I've drank more Coca-Cola products than PepsiCo. brand, but I blame cherry flavouring for that. But PepsiCo. is the better company.
I have yet to be asked if I wanted to be on a test circuit for PD-1 suppressants, but I have learned that foreskin increases men's chances of HIV infection, and may lower a woman's odds. There's another argument for male genital mutilation for mysogynists to use. That, my friends, is called "irony".
Special juvenille bonus: The director of the World Health Organization's AIDS department is named Dr. Kevin De Cock.
The Crane Wife rose to the top of my favourite albums of 2006, but in doing so also put Decemberists fans at the bottom of my favourite list of 2006. How did they manage to get into the high schools? We must ban mixed tapes, CDs and iPods immediately to prevent good music from falling into immature hands! [/curmudgeon]
Another argument against the glass ceiling was released at some point in the past month: Boys are just as good at quitting as women. Take that Human Resources Departments! Equality in job hating! We have to start somewhere.
I have yet to be asked if I wanted to be on a test circuit for PD-1 suppressants, but I have learned that foreskin increases men's chances of HIV infection, and may lower a woman's odds. There's another argument for male genital mutilation for mysogynists to use. That, my friends, is called "irony".
Special juvenille bonus: The director of the World Health Organization's AIDS department is named Dr. Kevin De Cock.
The Crane Wife rose to the top of my favourite albums of 2006, but in doing so also put Decemberists fans at the bottom of my favourite list of 2006. How did they manage to get into the high schools? We must ban mixed tapes, CDs and iPods immediately to prevent good music from falling into immature hands! [/curmudgeon]
Another argument against the glass ceiling was released at some point in the past month: Boys are just as good at quitting as women. Take that Human Resources Departments! Equality in job hating! We have to start somewhere.
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